Man experiences severe, multi-second delay due to cyclists

“It was like my life had frozen to a halt”, stated Mark Reynolds, a driver from Norwich, after being held up by up to 7 seconds before saying ‘sod it’ and flooring it past them into oncoming traffic.

Hard working driver, Mark Reynolds was on his way to carry out his urgent shopping and crap breakfast at an awful shopping centre just outside Dunston before going home to spend all day watching telly when he encountered other road users who weren’t using vehicles he found acceptable.

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“These people had filled the road, just like me, but I didn’t like them and that’s not right. It was really hard to drive and video them with my mobile phone at the same time but I managed to hold the phone in front of the passenger seat to avoid any uncomfortable questions about who the dangerous one was. Although that lady I almost hit on the pavement was quite annoyed.”

“When I *eventually* overtook them after waiting 5 seconds, a car came the other way so I had to swerve away from it towards the cyclists, I mean, I’m hardly going to risk hitting a car am I?”

“I felt entirely safe through this manouvere on account of being protected by a ton of metal.”, he added, “So everything is fine”

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Mark has used the experience to asses road safety and has started a government petition to force cyclists to have insurance just like some motorists have, when asked how this would stop them riding along the road  in front of him he got a far away look in his eyes before blurting out ‘Stands to reason, doesn’t it?’

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