Stockholm Syndrome

There’s a strange situation that takes place amongst cyclists sometimes. Or maybe it’s not that strange, but it’s certainly wrong. As wrong as fish. Maybe even wronger.

Allow me to outline a scenario that illustrates this situation.

A hostage is cycling along the road. He’s not doing anything wrong or confrontational, he’s just riding about the place. I dunno, he’s on his way to work. But he’s riding along. A hostage.

As he approaches a narrow section of the road, a hostage taker approaches in a car behind him. The hostage taker doesn’t  just nail it past him with inches to spare. The hostage taker waits behind.

After the road narrows, it goes round a sharp corner and then after a few hundred metres, the road widens and heads off in a straight line. The hostage, conscious that he is holding the hostage taker up, gives it a bit extra. He’s not a slow hostage by any means. This particular one is quite fast, 22-25mph on the flat. In a 30 mph section. So he’s not holding the hostage taker up by too much, but he does feel guilty about it. So he goes fast. Faster than he normally does, he goes fast until the hostage taker has room to overtake. Safely.

Overwhelmed with gratitude, the hostage waves his thanks to the hostage taker. “Thanks for not killing me”, he waves. “What a great person you are”.

“Thanks, again.”

What the actual hell?

I should explain Stockholm syndrome at this stage. If you don’t already know, this is the positive emotional attachment that the victims in a relationship make with their captors. Originally coined after a lengthy hostage situation in a Stockholm bank vault, the expression is often used to describe the bond that builds between an abused party in a relationship and the abuser.

Well hang on Jon, just a minute. Drivers aren’t kidnappers. This particular one is old Mrs Whattle, she’s never hurt anyone in her life. She cares about people and she’s on her way the village hall to run a coffee morning for cancer victims. You’re just one of those cyclists who go on and on about drivers all being bad and all cyclists being good.

Well hang on Jon, I’m a cyclist and I don’t wave thanks to drivers who wait behind and then feel a surge of well being towards drivers when they pass safely and considerately as they are bound by law and common decency to do so….

I could be wrong. I often am. But I don’t think I am in this case. I don’t give a shit about the drivers perspective to be honest. Lets talk about the cyclists perspective though.

The vast, overwhelming majority of road transport infrastructure in this country is designed to work for drivers. Cyclists are allowed on some of it, and there is a tiny, insignificant proportion that is actually dedicated to cyclists, but on the main, drivers get full priority. Even in that there London where crazy people are building actual, dedicated, well thought out cycling infrastructure that isn’t knee deep in mud, there’s something like 15 miles of proper stuff. For 1000’s of miles of roads, 15 miles of it, has some sensible cycle infrastructure, in the best supported city in the UK.

W O W

And you would not fucking believe how much anguish those 15 miles of cycle lane have caused to the good citizens of our capital. Even celebrities have got involved. Not shit celebrities neither, real ones like Janet Street Porter, Sir Alan Sugar and Tom Conte. Those people are absolutely LIVID about this insane level of investment and disruption that is clearly designed to fold to the agenda of the all-powerful cycling lobby.

You see, even celebrities, the most perfect members of our society, have Stockholm Syndrome. They have been utterly convinced by the dogma that is doled out by the car trade, the road trade and the politicians making money out of them. They have fallen for the cause that the real kidnappers have held a ransom over us for years.

There is no all-powerful cycling lobby. This is the most hilarious thing anyone can ever say in the entire world. I’m hugely reluctant to accept that Janet Street-Porter has been hired by Mercedes to diss the all-powerful cycling lobby but I’m happy to accept she’s been fooled into swallowing the line (hook and sinker) that her captors have been feeding her. All our captors.

Tell you what, it’s time to stop this shit. We’re not sorry for the inconvenience.

(Photo courtesy of alamy stock photo)

We don’t see your view, we don’t get your cause. Share the road? Yeah alright, equal space, equal rights, equal infrastructure, equal spending.

See our view.

 

 

 

 

How to destroy a brand

Do you remember when flickr was good? I do. It was actually the best photo sharing website available for quite a while.

Nice gui, good navigation, sensible policies, easy to embed photos from flickr into websites, forums and threads. Really quite nice.

Then, about three years back it all went tits up. They changed the sharing options so for a while it was impossible to place code on a forum that shared photos. They fixed that but then they changed the gui which was and still is absolutely terrible, so hard to flick (eh?) through all your contacts photos. They changed things so if you found a photo in someone’s photostream you couldn’t easily look sideways at associated photos. The apps were complete and utter bobbins.

And now this. I get this email from flickr.

This is a message from the Flickr Abuse & Advocacy team to
let you know that we've changed the safety level of your
photostream to "moderate". Having a "moderate" warning on
your account means we've determined there are items in your
photostream in the wrong categories.

*** If you'd like to resolve this, we ask that you please
read the following email and follow the instructions
completely before writing back for a re-review of your
account. ***

When people browse or search on Flickr, they can filter what
they want to see based on a safety level that they are
comfortable with - either Safe Search is on, set to
moderate, or off. As you upload stuff to Flickr, you need to
make sure that you're applying appropriate filters ("safe",
"moderate", or "restricted"). If you don't apply filters
correctly, there's a very good chance another member will
let us know - in fact that's why we've taken action today.

NEXT STEPS:

You will need to moderate your content before asking for a
re-review.

1) Check out the Content Filters FAQs: 
- http://flickr.com/help/filters/

A good rule of thumb is, bare breasts and bottoms are
"moderate." Full frontal nudity is "restricted."

(Please note: Content that you're sharing privately needs to
be moderated as well.)

Eh? My photostream consists almost entirely of pictures of me on top of big hills or bad drawings. What the hell could have offended anyone?

 

Ah, well while that’s not very pleasant I don’t think it actually violates flickr’s rules. SO what could it be? My drawings? Again, they’re not great but maybe one of them has offended someone….

Aaah…

Naked-ness. Bottoms. I’ve upset someone incredibly prudish, clearly. And obviously because they’re such insanely good drawings they’re so lifelike that someone is right now, vomiting because you can see someone’s bottom. You know, those things every single one of us has got. NO BOTTOMS.

Right, well I’m sorry about that flickr (not really), but FUCK YOU.

I could tolerate the appalling interface, the useless app, the webpage that’s always slightly bigger than my computer screen, but this, no, fuck…you.

Goodbye. I will maintain my flickr account, but I shall use it to display random acts of disobedience because stupid rules are stupid.

 

 

Try again

 

Did you ever think, that you’ve taken the wrong career path?

I don’t mean wishing you’d become a porn star or a millionaire novelist. I mean something normal. An actual normal job which earns no more or less than your current occupation, just different.

I’ve had thoughts about changing career in the past, just like most people do. Not doing my hobby for a job thoughts, I’ve done all that and realised much as it’d be great and everything, it wouldn’t be great. Doing something you do for fun, I think, could make you hate it. No, that’s not true. I got into IT because I liked messing with computers, and now I’m paid a lot of money to tell other people what to do with IT. I don’t hate it. It’s a little soulless at times but meh. Pays for bike bits and booze.

Anyway, my head has been turned. You see, I work in the water industry.

Water production is incredibly important. Honestly, if it fucks up, you’re about 12 hours from mayhem and death. It’s not very exciting though. Here’s how you make drinking water.

Collect some water, clean it up a bit, disinfect it a bit, give it to people to drink. Yawn. The scale is quite interesting and the delivery logistics are certainly challenging but that’s about it. I bet you didn’t know that we create a head, or service reservoir to maintain supply rather than producing on demand. Huge, great ,massive, swimming pool sized cisterns.  Obvious really, actually you probably did know that. See? Yawn.

Shit.

Now shit is interesting. We all do it, but once you flush that chain you forget about it. But that’s where it gets really interesting. The things with humans is, we shit a lot, and someone has to take it all, get that nasties out, get the goods out, maybe make a bit of money out of it, return some of it to nature. Now *that’s* interesting.

Let me take you through the modern day sewage treatment process.

Once the raw sewage arrives at the treatment works, all the big bits need taking out. Toothbrushes, nappies that have made it this far, dead dogs. So it passes through a big grate and all the big bits fall into a skip. Those skips. N I C E. Interesting point. Apparently tomato seeds pass through the human body undigested, so lots of them fall into the skips that are full of nutritious material. Beautiful tomatoes at a sewage works.

Onwards for the sewage though. First off, we need to let it settle. Pump it into primary treatment. Big vat of water. Oily, frothy bits come to the top, hard, heavy bits fall to the bottom. All the bits that float to the top get pushed into a holding tank, sometimes this stuff is used to make…errrmm, brace yourselves…soap. Not really in the UK though.

Anyway, so now we have a load of fairly nasty water filled with properly dangerous microbes, and a load of sludge. This shit (I’m here all week), suddenly got interesting.

The microbe water goes off to be de-dangered using an aerobic biological process. Here a live culture of good bacteria (for want of a better phrase), process the water and remove most of the deadly bacteria by feeding on it. The culture must be kept alive and healthy, warm and fed with oxygen. Heat helps, I wonder where we can find some of that? Read on to find out. The clean water is dumped back into a local water source. Really, it’s good now. In storm conditions, large holding tanks capture the excess of wastewater but sadly, sometimes there’s too much and it, ahem, is just released. Sorry about that.

The sludge? Aah, here’s where things get awesome. You see, there’s an old Northern expression. ‘Where there’s muck, there’s brass’, and sludge is very much, muck. Sludge is, one the whole, quite wet. And it’s not a huge amount of good to any one in that state. In the UK we used to spread it around the place to leave it to dry out. Slow though. The best thing to do with sludge is harvest its methane. Sludge gives off methane quite a lot. Especially when it’s nice and warm and wet.

So we’ve got some wet sludge. Pump it into a big tank, add plenty of heat. The bacteria in the sludge gets very excited and starts making methane as it’s post-excitement exhaust gas. It’s not very pure though so we push the gas through some scrubbing systems to make it nice and clean. Now we have pure methane. What are we going to do with that?

Put it in some big holding containers, that’s what. Inside the balls are big bags that fill up with methane.

What are we going to do with the methane? Chuck it into one of these of course.

Combined Heat and Power (CHP) units turn biogas into electricity This is quite a big one. Believe me, once they’re up and running it’s quite impressive. These things generate megawatts of electricity which can be used to run onsite equipment (you probably didn’t know that the water/wastewater industry is one of the largest users of electricity in any country), or pumped back into the grid.

CHP’s generate a lot of heat so that can be pumped back into the start of cycle to get the sludge excited. It’s almost poetry isn’t it? We still haven’t finished with the sludge though. Once all it’s excitement is over it is dried out and turned into fertiliser.

Now you tell me all that isn’t more interesting than computers. I bet you didn’t realise your poo did all that after you’d flushed the chain, did you? And if you had a choice to work with computers or poo, I know which option you’d take.

Training, qualifications and Accountability

If you spend any amount of time on social media or online news sites looking at subjects that are even vaguely related to cycling (or often, not even tenuously linked to it) , you’ll very quickly come to the conclusion that cyclists are the devil’s spawn, who eat babies and kick kittens. Not because they are. Cyclists are just normal people who instead of getting in a car or using public transport, or god-forbid their heathen souls, walk to go somewhere, have decided to travel on a bike. They don’t change personality because they’ve left their car keys hanging up and lift their leg over a bike, but various commentators would have you believe this. During this anti-cyclist tirade it is not uncommon to raise the three mainstays of the cycling opposition party portfolio, tax, insurance and law breaking. I’m going to ignore the first two for the purposes of this discussion. I’m also going to largely ignore the general lawlessness, or not, of cyclists. (Personally I see way more drivers breaking the law than cyclists but everyone has their own experiences).

The issues of law breakers is an interesting one at a principle level because cyclists in the UK (and this may be the case globally) may lift their leg over a bike without any formal training whatsoever, and head off along a public carriageway causing mayhem, death, crushed dreams and heart attacks as they meander aimlessly without rigid guidance provided to them by the authorities. Valiant drivers will apparently crash their cars into flocks of old ladies just to avoid these callous menaces (because presumably the brake pedals don’t work) and all because there is no mandatory cycle training and test that allows someone to pilot what is clearly the most dangerous machine known to man, a 30lb bicycle.

Why are cyclists allowed to terrorise the law abiding drivers of Britain in this way? Drivers have to be trained extensively and must pass an incredibly difficult test before they are allowed to drive a car. This is what makes them paragons of virtue. Their detailed training and examination (the COP would have you believe), ensures that even if they wanted to, drivers are not able to make a single solitary mistake. This is what marks drivers out from cyclists who are unregulated, ungoverned and even worse, not accountable. Any driver who has been trained and tested, will commit hari-kari if they go even 1mph above the posted speed limit. (After pulling over safely and not parking on the pavement)

Why is this even allowed? Physics. That’s why.Well not just physics, I may mention externals later. but lets talk about physics.

Here’s…errm, Jon. He’s on a bike. He’s not been bike trained or tested (I have but bear with me), he is liable to kill someone at any moment because without it being drummed into him through a rigid, formalised and commercially viable training program, he has absolutely no idea about what he’s doing. Honestly, it’s like giving him a machine gun or a chainsaw

The thing is, despite Jon being completely out of control, he only weighs 13 stone (sorry, 182lb) plus his bike which makes him 200lb. A 200lb bullet just ready to kill. Jon can make his bike go quite fast because he cycles a lot but on average, he moves at around 14mph. A 14mph bullet. If Jon careers into someone at 14mph on his reckless spree of abandonment (every morning jon kisses his wife goodbye, she never knows if the next time she’ll see him he’ll be in a coffin), Jon will stop moving, pronto. Really, physics aside, the person most likely to be hurt if Jon cannons into them, is Jon. That’s because Jon and his bike are slow and light, traffic-wise. Jon has what we call ‘low momentum’. If Jon were to aim his machine of death at a house, Jon would probably die and the house wouldn’t even notice it. Don’t forget, all these scenario’s only unfold because Jon is an unpredictable ninja of doom without training and testing.

OK? Right, here’s errrm, Dave. Dave has been through a tight series of controls called ‘the driving test’. To pass this test, Dave was first trained by a bored and cynical relative highly trained driving instructor to an extremely proficient level before having to navigate what is probably one of the most difficult examinations normal people have to undertake, ‘the driving test’. This training apparently takes, on average, about 40 hours. That’s like a week of being in work. The test can be longer than half an hour. After this, Dave is deemed fit to drive anything with 3 or 4 wheels that weighs less than 3.5 tons. If Dave were as old as Jon he’d be able to drive something up to 7.5 tons. So in Dave’s capable hands, we have 7900lbs of Dave and incredibly well managed metal. Dave is allowed to go up to 70mph (but no further) but spends most of his time sitting in a great big queue of traffic. I mean his average speed is 30mph. Hang on, the RAC says here that the average speed on 30mph free flowing roads is 30mph. Given that there are many times people must drop below the speed limit, this must mean lots of people exceed the speed limit? But they’ve been trained… No, must be a mistake. Anyway, 30mph average in a 7900lb vehicle. That’s what we call in traffic terms, ‘high momentum’. If Dave drives into a house, the house will most certainly notice it. But Dave will never drive into a house because he’s been trained and tested. Dave never needs to take his test again because of the incredibly high standard of training he received when he was 17. Male humans at age 17 are very mature people. Not mature enough to drink in public or own a credit card but taking 3.5 tons of metal through a shopping centre? No problem.

This is fun, what’s next. Aah, Jane. Jane has taken and passed her HGV license. Heavy Goods Vehicles (HGV’s), are quite big. And heavy, if it’s not clear. I’m surprised Jane even bothered to be honest. The insanely laborious and difficult hoops that Jane must jump through before she’s permitted to get behind the wheel of something weighing up to 44 tons!!!! Lets assume Jane only wants to drive lorries up to 30 tons though. To reach this, the pinnacle of driving expertise, Jane must not only pass her normal driving test but then must pass 4! Count them, FOUR more tests before she is allowed out delivering goods. It’s like the Krypton factor! All lorry drivers must have an above average IQ or something. At least. She must also receive 35 hours of training every five years as well as getting fitness to drive certificates every five years (once she’s over 45). Well, I don’t think anyone could be that well trained, do you? That’s almost as much training as I have to do every year so I can put letters after my name. Phew!

Anyway, 30 tons is 66,000 lbs (we’ll ignore Jane’s weight because I’m a gentleman and to be quite frank, it makes chuff all difference). Jane is allowed to deliver heavy goods at the same speed cars go so that’s a 30mph average. This is known in traffic terms as ‘like a bus momentum’. If in the impossible event that Jane drives her lorry into a house or a bridge I expect the house or lorry would cease to exist in it’s current form. But as I say, that never happens due to the galactic levels of training involved.

 

Physics time

 Jon’s momentum = 200 x 14 = 2800 lbs m/h
Dave’s momentum = 7900 x 30 = 23700 lbs m/h
Jane’s momentum = 66000 x 30 = 1980000 lbs m/h

Those are significantly different figures aren’t they? Momentum can be translated into risk quite easily. The bigger the momentum number, the more risk the vehicle represents. Since unfettered cyclists can in no way provide a baseline, we’ll have to use the car and lorry figures to help us understand where cycling needs to rest on the training graph.

Oh. Well as far as I can gather while I look at the maths (and bear with me, I’m no lorry driver), this means that for cyclists to be trained to an equivalent level as other road users, we’d have to mash them in the head with a large brick, put a blindfold on them and then push them through a red light. Physics explains everything doesn’t it?

This is why cyclists don’t need training, a test or a certificate to let them ride on the road. They are the harmless sloths of our road system.  Yes they can be annoying when they do break the rules and yes, very, very occasionally they get involved in something unfortunate and hurt or kill someone else. These are terrible incidents but don’t for one minute claim that training will change this. If you’re already in fear of your life, and trust me, a great many cyclists are, then explaining to you carefully that cars can squish you flat and not even slow down, is not going to encourage you to share space with them. In fact, it’s more likely to encourage you to break the rules, get on the pavement and annoy people.

We simply do not give enough education and training *of the right type* to the Dave’s and even Jane’s of this world because as we can see, they keep killing people. If you want to talk about training, talk about regular re-testing of car drivers, talk about removing the license to operate from those people who display an inability to manage their high momentum vehicles and talk about sorting out the particularly unpleasant aspects of our traffic system before you even consider discussing something you find annoying.

Risks

Yes, yes, I know that risk is a lot more complex than just momentum. Lorries have bigger brakes and wheels and things, bikes are harder to see and hear.

THE LEIGH GUIDED BUZWAY (oh, and cyclepath)

Update:

It’s now finished. How do I know it’s finished? Well all the barriers have gone and there’s a car parked on it.

Brilliant! That’s how you know a cycle lane is open, some twat parks their car on it.

Apart from that it’s exactly as shit as anticipated. Bumpy as hell, covered in loose gravel, loss of priority at every junction. It’s awful. Oh, it’s quite popular, even in the rain today it had plenty of walkers, runners and cyclists on it. Is it a success based on that? Not really. This should be about encouraging people to stop driving into work, to take an alternative. And this mess won’t do that.

 

Original

Years in the planning, more years in the building but now it’s here! The Leigh guided buzway that goes from Leigh, to Manchester!!!!    !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a big deal in Leigh, I’ll explain why shortly. I’ll also explain some other things that some of you are already trying to tell me about.

(If you don’t want to read the preamble, scroll down to where I laugh a lot in capitals)

Guided busways are, not very common. There could be a number of reasons for this but my favourite is, they’re a load of shit. It’s poor use of the space, they’re often not really guided as they invariably cross roads or use the road for a bit, or a lot. The Leigh to Manchester one uses the road a lot. The planners will tell you this is pure genius and this is exactly why the Leigh Buzway is brilliant. It can use the road, *and* the buzway. It’s also the very same reason, why it’s a load of shit.

OK? It’s like an episode of soap.

Where’s Leigh?

Well, it’s up North. North West. Near Wigan. No? Warrington? /Sigh. Have you heard of Manchester? And Liverpool? Yes, where the Beatles come from. That’s it. Well Leigh is in between those two, but nearer to Manchester. Yes, where the Smiths are from.

What’s special about Leigh? Nothing really, it’s a bit of a dump. Oh, I live there if that counts. Actually I live in one of the posh bits, if there is one. Lake just bottom left of the word ‘Leigh’, near there. Not that you care. Andy Burnham is our MP. I think that’s it.

Oh, there is something special about Leigh. It’s one of the largest towns in the UK without a train station. Now that is important. You see, Leigh, doesn’t really have anything for people to do. It’s got small businesses and stuff, sure. It’s got a run down town centre and loads of pounds shops but real, big employment? Nah. So where do people in Leigh work then? Well the small number that do have jobs tend to work in Wigan, Warrington, Bolton or Manchester. I work in Warrington, not that you care. Quite a nice ride there though.

Anyway, eventually arriving at my point, if you want to live in Leigh and work in Manchester, our nearest city, then you can drive there….ummm that’s about it. Oh you could get the bus, or drive up to Daisy Hill or Atherton and get the train from there (get there early though or you’ll have to wait until after rush hour to be able to fit on). Or you could cycle. Nah I’m only kidding, people from Leigh don’t ride bikes. Everyone drives there.

There’s not many roads from Leigh to Manchester. Two, by my count. The East Lancs, or the M602. What do you reckon these roads are like in the morning and evening?

That’s right, they are completely and utterly chocked full to the gills. Have been for years, lots of years. I worked in Manchester in the 1990’s and they were solid then. (This is an important point, you’ll see).

So the planners decided to build a buzway. Is that annoying you yet? Try living in Leigh. That’s how they say it. Buz. I’ll stop doing it now. So they decided to build a guided busway. Along the old railway line route. Not another railway. A guided busway. Not a tram system (of which Manchester has an large, excellent and efficient example), a guided busway. Why? I don’t know. I’m told it’s lack of capacity once it hits Manchester which is odd because they built the tram system out to Oldham and Altrincham quite happily. The cynic in me would suggest there’s some political dealings going on there but anyway, we have finally reached what this blog is about. The busway, has a cycle path built alongside it. An actual, segregated cyclepath. Like they have in that there London.

Now during the building of the busway, lots of people complained. They said the building work was making their drive into work really long.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!

IT TAKES 2 HOURS TO DRIVE TEN MILES BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHUFFING TRAFFIC YOU NUMBSKULLS!!!!! IT HAS DONE FOR TWENTY FREAKING YEARS!!!!

But blame the busway. It was fine before, that’s why it’s being built, because the roads are so empty. Not you, driving. Nope. Or those cyclists. Bastards. Look at them, riding past on that…path. There is actually a cycle path all the way from Liverpool to Manchester you know. You can get from Liverpool, lets say Anfield, all the way to lets say Salford, on a segregated, dedicated, cyclepath. Is that the longest in Britain? Maybe, someone tell me. It’s a load of shit by the way . you’ll be sat at some junctions until midnight waiting for the traffic to die down. It crosses 6 motorway slip roads. SIX! Do you think any of these crossings, have facilities for cyclists to cross safely? (Say no). Do you think these sliproads are impossible to cross at any time of the day without dying? (Say yes). Yeah, it’s brilliant.

Want to see it? You’re in luck, the Busway opened yesterday. And you are about to be taken on an adventure. The Leigh Guided busway adventure.

I decided to examine things on the way home so I rode up the East Lancs to where the busway joins the East Lancs and runs in a bus lane and then rode down the cyclepath along the busway back towards Leigh. Or did I? Of course I didn’t.

Lets begin.

Here’s the start of the busway, just to the left. You can see the standard invitation to cyclists ‘GET OFF YOUR BIKE NOW’. We’re so good at cycle infrastructure in this country, it makes my heart swell with pride.

Ignoring this I continue. Ooh, a lovely station.

Barely able to hold my excitement, I can’t wait to get onto the cyclepath. 70 million this has all cost so the cyclepath will be absolute pristine. Won’t it? I’m being sarcastic by the way, it’ll be a load of shit because this is Britain.

Here’s what the surface is like. Grid for scale. It can’t be finished though, it’s an inch deep in gravel. Very hard work. We’ll return to that point shortly.

I continue. Here’s a crossing. I have to press the green man to cross.

It’s becoming clear that the busway, is not really open at all. Lots of railings around, the cycleway cannot be even close to finished yet and their piles of dirt and stones everywh…OOH OOH OOOH, A BUS IS COMING!!!! HELLO MR BUS DRIVER, HAPPY TO DO YOUR BUS DRIVING JOB!! HELLLO!!!!!

Oh, he didn’t wave. Ho hum. On I ride through the stream of gravel. It’s wet and very, very draggy. It can’t be finished….aaah.

End of the road for me. Or rather, the start of the road. I try and follow the busway the rest of the way to Leigh but while I do keep crossing it, the cyclepath is closed at each crossing. They’ve got a lot to do and I’m not sure if this loose gravel is the completed cyclepath or still waiting for tarmac. This but suggests they’re tarmacing it all. Dunno.

So if you’re local, or you’re not local and were planning to travel for hours to get to see the new cycleway, don’t bother. They’ll not announce when the cycleway is finished in the same way they haven’t said it’s closed because cyclists don’t matter. I’ll keep an eye on it and if you keep hitting refresh on this page for the next six months I’ll update it to reveal the cyclepath in all it’s glory.

Of course, if you’re still waiting for me to do the same thing when I looked at the Wigan Orrell cycle corridor from two years ago, I haven’t forgotten, they just haven’t finished it yet. Or perhaps they think they have, dunno.

 

 

 

Welcoming our autonomous masters

So these self driving cars. Just for the record, I’m for them. Not because I believe they will operate with an unblemished record. People are going to get hurt, people will die. Which is awful. Of course, what’s even more awful is accepting the current state of affairs where I can absolutely guarantee, people will get hurt and people will die, lots of them. I can even tell you how many. On average, tomorrow in the UK, 61 people will have their lives irrevocably changed for the worst (not including all their family and friends who will be severely impacted by this), and 5 people will die, family members, friends etc. That’s sounds properly awful. And that’s why I’m for self-driving cars, while they won’t be perfect, they will be better that human drivers, much, much better. And for every mistake they make, the people who program them will learn, and re-program and for each death and injury, these cars will get better and better until the amount of people getting hurt and dying on our roads will reduce to be barely statistical registrable.

But that’s not what I’m writing about here. Because I know humans. The worst thing about autonomous cars is not that they will reduce deaths and injuries to (hopefully) negligible amounts. What autonomous cars will do, as with many technologies, is bring out the worst in humans.

What I’m writing about here, is how humans will abuse this technology. I might run a book on which ones get convictions first.

People are a bit shit. Oh I’m know we’ve done lots of great things. Really, there’s some amazing people out there, but most of us are shit. So I know autonomous cars will get abused, terribly. Let me count the ways.

Drive me home
No doubt the initial rules will be that a human must be sat behind the wheel, even if they’re not driving. Can you see people driving down the pub and then letting the car drive them back while they’re pissed? Of course you can. What copper will pull over a self-driving car? Once that precedent is set, why bother with any pretence? Just go on a pub crawl. Drugs? Fill your boots. No copper will pull over a self-driving car.

Drive my kids home
Once you’ve worked out the car will bring you home when you can’t remember your own name, you can let the car do the jobs you really don’t want to have to do, like looking after your kids. I’ve no idea if there will be any technical controls to ensure a trained adult is sat in the car but it’s unlikely to be anything more intelligent than a weight measurement device in the drivers seat. Pop a bag of spuds in there and set the course. Jeremy Kyle while you’re doing the tough stuff.

Pick my stuff up
Just send the car to the supermarket. Some of them already do a pick up service in the car park. It seems pointless you having to waste your valuable time by actually driving a car there if it can do it itself. Set the program, wait for the crisps and cake to arrive. You’re brilliant! The big supermarkets will love this shit. They’ll b e pushing massively to remove their expensive retail premises and replace them with efficient and cheap retail self-drive outlets. It’ll be like a production line.

Park up, chicken.
It’s so busy in town. And parking is so hard to find and so expensive. Simply let the car drop you off then send it out of town. Maybe let it do the shopping while you’re busy working.

I’ve got a very important meeting
Forget all the normal things people will do when in their self-driving cars like having phone calls and going to sleep. People will get their computers and phones out and work while the car is moving their highly important body around the place. After all, sales people are incredibly important and must utilise every single second of their lives, I dunno, by buying self-tying trainers on amazon or something.

MMMMMMMmmmmm…..
Sex. It’ll happen, I absolutely guarantee it. Your car will be driving you home, you’ll be pissed, the person sat next to you will be looking very nice indeed and you will want to have sex with them. Why wait? Get jiggy on the way home. No copper will pull up a self-driving car. The car can deal with the easy bit, time to get on with the hard stuff.

TV
I mean, really, If you think anyone sat in a self driving car isn’t going to watch series 19 of Game of Thrones, you’re not very aware.They do this when the car *isn’t* self driving so it’s a sure fire, bob notch boogie.

Sorting the Noms
Again, people eat and drink all the time when driving, and people die from this. At least once a computer that is a fraction of the size of the human brain is in control, less people will die. I mean, when humans are eating and driving, they can’t be expected to do both of them well, can they?

Take the blame
This for me is the number one. Whether the human is in control, or not, shagging, eating, sleeping or watching Jeremy Kyle. If anything at all goes wrong, they will 100%, certainly, positively and indubitably, blame the car for whatever went wrong. And the courts will believe them and people will die and the people who did it will walk free. The future is here, people. Enjoy.

 

 

No thanks, Brad.

They say you should never meet your heroes, now it turns out you should never listen to them either.

I spent a good couple of years following Brad’s progress leading up to the 2012 Tour de France and I spent a very excited couple of weeks watching him ride about France until he finally bagged the big one. I was a big fan. I even drew him! Three times!

But then Brad turned out to be a gigantic cocknugget. What a pity.

That seems a bit harsh doesn’t it? He’s a national treasure! Hmmm, maybe not. Rides a bike well, but then when he opens his mouth a load of nonsense comes out. So what has he done this time then?

Brad tells cyclists to follow the rules or face the consequences

Hang on Jon, all he’s done is ask cyclists to follow the rules, you can’t argue about that can you, or are you one of those righteous cyclists who believes the laws don’t apply to you?

Nope, I’d not argue against following the rules (despite there being plenty of evidence to suggest law breaking cyclists spend less time getting crushed by lorries). And in fact, I think in all the commentary I’ve seen over this article, not one cyclist has said “Fuck you Brad, I’m no stooge to the man and I’ll break the rules if I want, you square”. The problem is errrm, pretty much everything else he said.

The two things that really bother me about Brad’s outburst are thus:

Firstly, it’s this ridiculous notion that cyclists must earn their right to the roads by behaving. By all riding safely and within the rules, drivers will respect us and thus stop driving over us. Have you ever heard so much shit in all your life? Not one other road user is maligned in this way. No other group of road users are told to behave because they need to earn respect. Terrible car drivers aren’t told by Lewis Hamilton to pack it because it makes the good drivers look bad. Errant lorry drivers don’t get told by errrm, I dunno, Eddie Stobart if they don’t stop misbehaving then their rights will be removed.

Here’s a little excerpt.

“but you always get cyclists who give a bad name to the rest; people who jump the kerbs, jump red lights and ride around with iPods so you can’t hear the rest of the traffic. You would not do that in a car so why would you on a bike?”

So jumping kerbs, jumping red lights and listening to music are things you wouldn’t do in a car? You don’t get out much do you Brad? Drivers do these things, CONSTANTLY. And of course, when drivers do these things that are virtually always, mere annoyances when cyclists do them, they become dangerous. Even lethal. people die because drivers do these things. But we need to earn respect, apparently.

Anyway, that’s not my major issue. The real dollop of manure (other than the British cycling membership statement) that fell from Brad lips was this.

“people are starting to use cycling as a means of transport more but we won’t see the full cycling legacy of the Olympics for 10 years”

Did you bang your head when that van driver (remember, they make the rest of the van drivers look bad) knocked you off? Transport. Olympics. Transport. Olympics. Transport. Olympics

What. The. Fuck. Has. Transport. Got. To. Do. With. The. Olympics???????

Here’s a clue Brad. CHUFF ALL

The olympics no more provides a legacy to cycling as a mode of transport as formula one does to driving down the shops. This is complete and utter nonsense. In the unlikely event that someone watching an olympic cycling event suddenly decides to ride a bike to work the next day because, well I don’t know. I have absolutely no idea how someone would make a link between a race on TV and riding down the A34. Anyway, if someone watched the olympics and then rode to work the next day as a direct result of doing so, what kind of cyclist do you think they’d be?

That’s right, they’d look like this:

Is that what we want? Do we actually need more Brad wannabies with their heads down, chasing Strava segments, doping up on cough medicine and hidden electric motors, racing you from every set of lights and shaving their legs? Is that what bicycle transport looks like?

Of course not. Cycling transport, done properly looks like this:

And this.

No helmets, no pro kit, no need to wring our hands about whether we’re earning respect from drivers. It’s safe for everyone, not just the strong and the fast and the aggressive.

So I tell you what Brad, if you really want to improve road safety for cyclists, stick your comments up your arse and talk to sports cyclists about sports cycling. I don’t want to hear advice on road safety from a Tour de France winner, I’d much rather listen to what the vulnerable, the slow, the quiet and the people who don’t yet cycle have to say on the matter. If we’re driving a cycling revolution forwards, these are the people we need to listen to.

 

Chasing the devil

Cycling in Britain is not half as popular as it could be. There might be lots of reasons for this and we could talk for hours bout them. The unsafe roads, the weather, the hills, the complete and utter failure to invest in any form of decent infrastructure. These are all good suggests but they’re all wrong.

The real reason? Marketing. Proper, coked up, devil worshipping, dog eating, marketing. The real nasty, evil shit that comes out of someone who used to convince pregnant ladies that cigarettes were good for their babies. The kind of ruthless bile that the Daily Mail uses to push it’s crack down the minds of middle class pensioners. The filth that Unilever use to peddle Marmite to an unsuspecting public. This is the stuff that cycle vendors need to adopt. It may seem an expensive step to take but my god it’ll be worth it.

The cycle industry really needs to take a leaf out of the book of the worst people in the world. These people push over a million direct deaths a year to their drooling addicts. Their product is way better at topping us and ruining lives than anything ever invented before and since. But you wouldn’t know it. These are the best. Their marketing is so slick it can make death look wonderful. It beautifies a gagging cloud, it perfumes a sickly mess of blood and guts. And most of us fall for it! I know I have. Oh how I desire this product and I’ve already got two!

I’m talking of course, about people who sell you cars. Not the showrooms or manufacturers. They’re just trying to turn an honest crust, honest. No, the real nasty, evil bastards who the cycle industry need to employ, are the people who make car adverts.

I’ll explain with pictures. Lets first look at how the masters do it.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpB1yR9Sz9Y]

SWEET JESUS! LISTEN TO THAT! You’ll never drive one in your life but you now want an AUDI. DON’T YOU???!!

Lets try another.

O M G !!!!!

TOM HIDDLESTON!
MARK STRONG!!!
BEN FRICKING KINGSLEY!!!!

Helicopters, mansions, film-quality production, driving like a cock on the embankment (it’s alright, it doesn’t encourage terrible driving). I bet that advert cost 20 million pounds to make but by god you want a Jaguar now.

Alright. Lets look at what the cycling guys have to offer.

Um……

OK, that was a bit unfair, how about this one?

Umm…..again. OK, lets pick the best TV advert for cycling ever made, ever. And it’s not that bad.

Eh? EH? You want to buy a bike now don’t you? No? No.

It’s not sexy is it? Most of them are wearing a helmet, they’re in a bike race for some reason (and as we all know, racing is actually the only thing you can do on a bike), there’s a crash near the end (try showing a car crash in a car advert) because cycling is dangerous and everyone who does it is a reckless bastard with attitude but at least it has ice cream.

So even Halfords, the best bicycle advertisers in the world with their £5523 advertising budget, isn’t really stepping up to the mark.

It wasn’t always this way of course. There was a bygone era when bikes were awesome and everyone wanted one. All the evil marketing people who didn’t work for the tobacco industry, worked for the bike industry. And boy, did they make bikes sexy.

HE’S ON A BIKE AND HE’S BEING CHASED BY A LION. BUT HE’S GOT A GUN!!
Whoever designed that could sell Lada’s!!! (Turns out it’s not a gun. Thanks Carlton)

Normal people looking normal and happy on a safe road! No safety equipment, no gloves or lycra, just people dressed like normal people, ON BIKES. It’s so far removed from what we expect it *could be* a car advert.

BOOBS!!! A FREAKING SWORD! LIBERATOR!
Is it a bike or a sex toy! I DON’T CARE! WHERE DO I BUY ONE?????

 

THAT is what I’m talking about. I don’t know when the car industry stole all the really ruthless marketing people who have absolutely no qualms about sticking a sword in an advert for a bicycle just to sell PRODUCT but it was clearly a turning point in the WAR (which is another very useful car marketing tool) between bikes and cars.

If we want to make cycling great again we need to stop with the nonsense, fill a couple of bins with cocaine and snorting champagne, get the long chequebook out and get those crazies to produce some SEX BIKE ADVERTS. We’re not going to produce change with a quarterly newsletter, only marketing that’s on fire is going to make this change happen.

Shutting down the yaysayers

Someone dropped a great big, steaming pile of poo in my Twitter timeline and that’s not a nice thing to do. However, unlike so many of the things that appear in my timeline, here was something I could more than my usual* about. Here was something I could challenge with proof and everything. *whine ineffectually.

Lets start with the offending post.

Came across this on LinkedIn, nothing beats the right Attitude! #quoteoftheday #foodforthought pic.twitter.com/vWz9dnYwDI

— Haydn Atooi Corrodus (@wearemashbr) December 20, 2015

It’s horrible isn’t it? Dreamed up by some bothersome motivational speaker or one day business course trainer it has absolutely no grounded basis and could only convince the kind of people who voluntarily go to motivational speaker events. Even if this was an incredible coincidence (we’ll go into that shortly), I can tell you from many years in big business, attitude does not trump knowledge and hard work. Bullshit might trump all of them but that’s only 93%.

So what can I *actually* do about this? Well given I was in the middle of writing a shell script[1] when I saw this, I had a little idea.

[1] For those non-geeks among you, a shell script is a clever little language that runs on many computers that can be used to automate and speed up difficult and menial tasks. There are many different kinds of shell script but the one I will be using for this example is called bash.

Here’s my script. What this script does is take every word in an oldish linux dictionary, convert it into numbers, i.e. a=1, b=2 etc and then adds the numbers together. If the word total = 100, it copies the word to a file. And then we’ll see if as alluded to above, attitude is more important than hard work and knowledge. Prepare to have

your

minds

blown.

 

#!/bin/bash
INPUT=/usr/share/dict/words

while read line
do

ttal=0
grep -o . <<< $line | while read letter
do
   number=`echo $letter |tr -d “\n” |od -tuC -An`
   ((ttal=ttal+number-96))
   echo $ttal>/tmp/ttal
done
total=`cat /tmp/ttal`
if test $total -eq 100
then
   echo $line >>/tmp/attitudes
fi
done <$INPUT

Now because of the strange place that geeks operate from, I can tell you now, any other geek who sees this script will already be warming themselves up to explain how badly written it is. At least one of these geeks will be writing the same script in one line of perl and a number of others will be quickly identifying the fundamental error. I’ll stop those guys right now though. I don’t do much scripting nowadays, mainly because my job mostly involves shouting at other people so they write the scripts but I still enjoy it. The code above was dragged from my old memory so it’s not brilliant. It’s quite slow for a start, mainly because I write the running total to a file. I do this because in the line

grep -o . <<< $line | while read letter

The pipe to the while creates a subshell and the ttal variable isn’t carried into the shell. I could create an global variable and use that but I wasn’t in any rush and writing to a file allows easy troubleshooting so bite me geek police.

OK, so I run the script. Now I expect quite a few words to pop up, what I didn’t expect was quite so many. The linux dictionary I used has almost half a million lines in it:

wc -l /usr/share/dict/words
479827 /usr/share/dict/words
A quick Google suggests there are twice this number in the English language but I can’t be bothered looking for a full dictionary, this is for demonstration purposes only. I see that many words in the linux dictionary have hyphens and apostrophe’s in them too which will skew the results. Again, bite me.

So out of half a million words, how many do you think add up to 100%? How many do you think are more important than hard work and knowledge? Is attitude=100% a coincidence or not?

Of course it fucking isn’t.

How many?

wc -l /tmp/attitudes
4172 /tmp/attitudes

Four thousand one hundred and seventy two words are more important than hard work and knowledge. That’s roughly 1% of the total dictionary.

beetroot
creosote
impotence
outflank
sodomite
telephone

All more important than hard work and knowledge. And many, many more.

Monetise. That’s there. If you want some proper business advice, if you consider how to monetise everything you’ll get a lot further in business than if you think attitude is important, trust me on that one.

So no, it’s not the quote of the day, it’s not a coincidence, it’s not clever or thought-inducing.

It’s a great big pile of steaming poo.

(I couldn’t let you go without seeing the full list so here it is. You’re welcome to take this list and read it out to people over dinner)

abactinally
abatements
abbreviatable
abettors
abomasusi
abreption
abrogative
absconders
absinthol
absorbancy
acceptavit
acceptors
acclimation
accounter
accumulate
acenaphthene
achronism
achroous
Acipenseroidei
acknowledge
acolytes
acquisita
acquitted
acriflavine
acromegaly
acronychal
acronyx
actinocarp
activates
acuminose
acurative
acylation
addressing
adelocodonic
ademonist
adiabatically
adipopexia
adjustable-pitch
adsessor
adulthood
advantaging
adventual
adverting
aeolipyle
aequorin
aeriality
aerofoils
aerometer
aetosaur
affectation
affricative
afghanistan
africanist
aftercareer
agalactous
agamogenetic
agariciform
aggresses
agnations
agrological
agrology
agrypniai
aichmophobia
Aigialosauridae
Ailuropus
airdrops
airmonger
Akiskemikinik
albedometer
albuminoid
alchemising
alertest
Alexanderson
alfaquins
algaeological
algaeology
alienation
alineation
aliturgic
alkalinize
alkoxyl
allenarly
allentato
alligation
all-important
alloquial
allottable
all-sustainer
allthorn
alopecist
alpinery
alpinist
alrighty
altarist
alternated
altiplano
altiscope
amanitins
amarillos
ambulating
amelcorns
ameloblast
ametropic
amiableness
ammiaceous
amoralize
amortise
amphiboles
Amphipnous
amphisbaenic
amputees
amusedly
amyluria
anacamptics
analysis
anapodeictic
anastaltic
anchoritic
andesinite
androclinia
anepiploic
aneurism
angelologic
angerless
angiectopia
anginous
angioblast
angiotribe
angiport
anglemeter
anglophobia
angulates
anhydrated
anhydremic
anilinism
animately
animaters
anisocercal
Anisodactyli
annually
annullate
anomalipod
anomalure
anorchism
answerable
antalkaline
antalkalis
antepaschal
anteporch
anterior
anthozoa
Anthriscus
anticathode
antichlor
anticomet
anticult
antifowl
antigalactic
anti-inductive
Antikythera
antislip
antiurban
anvilling
apheresis
aphrodisia
apiology
apoharmine
apokreos
apoplectic
aporetical
Aporocactus
apostacy
Apostolos
apotracheal
appeasers
apperceive
appertain
applicancy
appliedly
applying
appointed
appraisable
apron-string
apropos
aquamarine
aquiform
araneiform
arbitrages
arbuscles
archaeolith
archaicness
archdiocesan
archenemies
archibenthic
archigony
archilithic
archimagus
archiplasm
archsewer
arcticward
arenilitic
areometer
argillitic
Argiphontes
argumenta
arhatship
arightly
arrastre
arrests
arrivals
arrowy
arsenium
Articodactyla
artilize
Artocarpus
arugulas
asbestos
ascendants
ascophore
asparagyl
aspergilla
asphalter
asplanchnic
assafoetida
asswaging
asterioid
asthenies
asyndetic
atheromas
athetosic
athreptic
athrogenic
athyroid
atonally
attargul
Attenweiler
attitude
attunes
auctorial
audiophile
augments
aulophobia
auntlier
aureoline
aureous
auriculo
auriscalp
auslaute
Austinburg
Austro-swiss
Autaugaville
autoclave
autoharp
auto-inoculable
automated
avanters
avernus
aversant
avidious
avocation
avouching
awfully
aworry
azurite
babesiosis
bacilliform
backslashes
backswept
backtracking
backwardly
baculiform
baguettes
baldnesses
balistarii
balletomane
ballonets
bananaquit
bandwagons
bannerols
barbarising
bariatrics
barkeepers
barkpeeling
barleybrake
barleybreak
barometz
baronetical
barracouta
barspoon
Bartholomew
bartizaned
barytone
basidorsal
basilateral
basiotribe
basipodite
bassanello
bassetite
bastinading
bathyscape
batidaceous
batonist
battailant
battement
Battletown
baulkiest
bawsunt
beautihood
becarpeting
becrowding
bedazzles
bedposts
beeftongue
beestings
Beethovenish
beetroot
beginnings
beguileful
bellwaver
belly-flopping
belly-sprung
bemajesty
benediction
benzolate
bergamots
beryllate
beshrivel
besmircher
bespangles
bespreading
bestirred
bestridden
beswarms
betattered
bettering
better-witted
bevellers
bewhisker
bewitching
biathlons
bibitory
bibliophobia
bibliotics
bifarious
bigaroons
bilifaction
bilocation
biloculate
bimillennia
bimorphs
bintangor
bioassayed
biologize
biophyte
biovular
bipartite
birthmark
bisantler
biscutate
bisinuate
bissonata
bittings
biunity
biweeklies
biwinter
blarneyer
blasphemes
blastoffs
blazoning
blennogenic
blethering
blighters
blissful
blockwood
bloodwit
blossom-bearing
blowtube
bluegums
Blytheville
boatloading
bodyplate
bogberries
bogwoods
bogwort
boilerful
bolstered
bombacaceous
bonhomies
bonneting
boobyism
boohooing
boomless
boondoggled
bootblacks
bootery
bootmaker
boozers
bordroom
borneols
borrowed
boskiest
botanist
bottle-corking
bouillon
boulevard
bounceably
boundary
boundure
bountree
boviform
bowerlet
bowerlike
bowerly
bowknot
bowlmaker
boxboards
boycott
brachiation
bractlets
braquemard
brass-mounted
brawlys
breakshugh
breathily
breediness
breezeful
bremeness
brevetcy
breviary
Brevicipitidae
breviconic
brewises
brezhnev
bribe-devouring
Bridgehampton
bridgeless
bridgemaking
brigatry
brightish
broad-shouldered
broken-mouthed
bromauric
bronchocele
bronchus
bronze-foreheaded
bronzy
broodily
brooklime
Brooktondale
broomweed
Brownistic
brown-stemmed
Brownville
browser
browsick
bruiting
brushier
brushmen
Bryantown
bufotalin
bugproof
bulgurs
bulliest
bullnose
bullpup
bullskin
bumblekite
Burlington
burnished
bushlands
busticate
butcherer
butterfly-pea
buzzy
byplays
cacidrosis
cacogenesis
cacomistle
cacophonical
cacophony
caecotomy
calaminaris
calciphyre
calcitonin
calculist
caligraphy
callitriche
calvarium
calvities
calypter
campanular
camphorate
cancriform
candidature
canephoroe
cannibalized
cantrips
Canyonville
capiteaux
caponiers
caponiser
caponniere
captaincies
carbazylic
carboluria
carboxyl
carburised
cardiograph
cardioplegia
cardiorenal
caressant
carkingly
carotenes
carouser
Carpatho-russian
carpenter
carpetweed
carrioles
carroty
carrying-out
cartelism
Cartersburg
caryatids
cashdrawer
cassalty
catamneses
cataphracted
catarinite
catechisms
catechistic
catenative
catholicon
Catonsville
Cattaraugus
catteries
catty-cornered
catwort
causaless
causeries
cavernlike
cavitates
celibatist
cellarway
celticist
cencerros
cenogenetic
censorate
censurable
centimeter-gram
centipedes
centupled
Cephalacanthus
cephalous
ceramicist
ceratomania
Ceratophyta
cerithioid
cerusite
Cetorhinus
chaiseless
chamecephaly
champignon
chaplaincies
charwomen
chastening
chattery
chaussees
cheesemaking
chemigraphic
chemotactic
chemurgical
chemurgy
cherishing
chestnut-sided
chicken-heartedly
chickories
chiliasts
chimpanzee
Chinchasuyu
Chionanthus
chippewas
chiropodic
chirpily
chivariing
chloranaemia
Chlorococcales
chloropal
choiceness
chondrioma
chondrule
choppers
chorioids
chorisis
chortles
chowries
christ-cross
Christless
chromium
chrysalida
chucklers
churchful
churingas
chutist
cicatricula
Ciceronianism
cilicious
cinchotine
cingulum
circleting
circumduce
cirurgian
cisjurane
cisleithan
citron-colored
civilizade
civilizee
clangoring
clangoured
clarifiers
classily
claudetite
clausure
claytonia
cleanliest
clearhearted
clementine
clerically
clerkdoms
cleveites
climatarchic
clinically
clockwise
clomiphene
cloth-spreading
clotting
clovery
clubster
clumsier
coannexes
coarsest
coassert
coassumed
coasters
coatroom
coattails
coauthered
cobwebbery
Coccidiomorpha
cockneyfied
cockshut
cocottes
coderives
coenures
cofactors
cognatus
cogredient
coin-separating
coislander
cojuror
colascioni
colazione
colleagues
collecting
Colleyville
colloque
colonials
colopexia
colophenic
columbite
columels
cometary
commandeered
commercing
companero
companion
compering
competible
complanate
complicacy
comport
concavely
conchitis
concludible
Concordville
condensate
confabulate
confederated
confrater
congeners
congenital
congiaries
congress
Conilurus
conjoint
conjugated
conjunct
connivance
conniver
Conocephalus
conodont
consigns
consumo
contented
contoise
contrude
cooingly
cookeries
cookout
cooniest
coonskin
coonties
coparceny
coplots
Copperheadism
coproduce
coprosma
copyism
coquets
coquito
corbeilles
coresidence
corinthiac
corkiest
corkwing
cornette
cornmeals
cornuted
corollet
corollike
coromandel
corridor
corticole
coryphaei
coryzal
cosmetical
Cosmotron
cossets
costumed
cotabulate
cotenancy
cotillon
cotters
cotton-dyeing
couchette
coulombs
counter-agency
counter-move
courses
courter
courtin
court-martial
cousins
covalency
coverlet
coverside
coverup
cowardices
cowardish
cowplop
coxcombical
coxcomby
coyness
coyote-brush
crackleware
craniomalacia
crankiest
craspedum
cravenly
crebrity
credentialed
creepiest
creosote
crepehanger
crepeiest
cresoline
crimison
crimsoned
criticule
Cronartium
cross-ferring
cross-leggedly
crowdweed
crudity
cruising
cruisken
crummier
crusados
crusts
cryalgesia
Crystalite
cuadrillas
cubicities
cullises
cultrate
culture
culvers
cumulated
curcuddoch
curdlers
curettage
curioso
curledly
curlily
curtalax
cuspidine
customed
cutdown
cutesier
cutinise
cutlases
cutlets
cutlips
cutout
cutter-built
cuttles
cutups
cyaphenine
cyathium
cycadaceous
cyclitis
cymation
cymophane
cyniatria
cysteine
cystidean
Cytospora
czarship
dacryuria
danewort
dartrose
datapoint
daywrit
deadeningly
deadworks
deathshot
debamboozle
debarkation
debaucheries
debordment
debussing
decalcomanias
Decaturville
decerebrize
deciduity
declarative
declension
decompiler
decorous
decouples
decremental
decrypted
deepfroze
deerberry
deescalating
defections
defeminized
deferrized
definitise
definitor
deflators
deflexure
degausses
deglaciation
degreewise
dehorting
delectating
deliberates
delineating
deliquesce
delivery
delouses
deltation
demibuckram
demigriffin
demisuit
demivolt
demobilize
demodulate
demoniast
dempster
denasalized
dendrocoele
denitrated
denominate
denounces
dentalized
denumerable
denunciated
dephlegmated
dephycercal
depilator
deplaster
depletion
deploring
deprivate
derbylite
deresinate
derivers
derogating
derrickmen
describably
descriers
desegregated
desiccative
designers
Desmoscolecidae
desolates
despatches
desponder
despotat
destuffs
deterring
developpe
dewberry
deywoman
diagonally
diakinesis
dialysing
dialyzer
diamondize
diaphonies
diaphyseal
diaschisis
diatrons
dichotomal
dichromasia
differencing
digestive
digladiator
dihexagonal
dilatants
dilatator
dimensive
dimethoate
dinginess
dinitrate
dinitrile
dioctahedral
dioecious
diopsides
diphtheric
diphygenic
diplomaing
diplotene
disarranged
discanting
discernible
discipline
disclaiming
discommode
discophile
discredited
discrepate
disembogue
disgavelled
disgress
dishelming
dishouse
disimpark
disjecting
disjoinable
disjoint
disjunct
dislodging
dismarket
disobliger
disomus
disparageable
disparple
dispeller
disponer
dispraise
disroot
disrump
disseized
dissuader
distancing
distrait
disunified
ditchdown
dithyramb
ditroite
diureses
diurons
divekeeper
divertila
divinely
diviners
divorcees
dochmiasis
dockyards
dogmatize
dogwinkle
dollymen
dolomitic
domiciliate
dominates
doormaker
dooryard
dormette
dormeuse
dorsigrade
doubleheader
double-struck
doughty
downcut
downlier
downset
dowsabels
draftsmen
dragonism
drawlers
drawplate
dressing-down
driveling
drizzle
droopier
droshky
droskies
drossy
drumbling
drumlier
druttle
drybrained
dryrot
dualities
duckhearted
ducklings
ducktails
duetting
dulcimore
dumbfound
dumpily
Dunnsville
duologue
durative
durdenite
durions
duvetine
dykereeve
dyslectic
dysphemia
Dzaudzhikau
earthmaker
earth-strewn
earthwall
earwigging
earwort
ebullient
ecchymosed
echiniform
echopraxia
eclecticize
ecstasies
ectosteal
educatedly
effectless
efoliolate
egoistical
eightsmen
ejections
elaeothesia
elargement
eldmother
electives
electorial
elementate
elephants
elevenfold
Ellsworth
elotillo
elsewhere
emasculate
Emballonuridae
embodiment
emboldening
embolismic
embowers
emendation
emotioned
empathetic
emperess
empresse
emptily
enaluron
encapsuled
encarpium
enclasping
encrust
encumbers
endochrome
endocritic
endoplasma
endostraca
endothecate
energiser
enflagellate
enfoulder
engagedness
enharmonic
enlivens
enneadianome
enoplion
enrolles
ensorceled
enstool
enstyle
ensurance
ensurer
entohyal
entrains
entropic
envoys
enweaving
epibolism
epicostal
epigaster
epigonos
epilimnial
epimerite
epimerum
episcleral
episematic
epistlar
epitaphical
epitaxy
epizoon
eponymic
equalized
equative
equipages
equiradical
equison
equispaced
erasement
erasions
erubescence
espouse
esprove
Essexville
essoins
esterified
Estherwood
estheses
esthesio
estopped
estuant
ethanoyl
etherized
ethnicism
ethnogenic
ethylated
eucrites
eugenist
eulogize
eunuchoid
eupatridae
euphenics
Euroclydon
Europeanised
Europeanly
eurybath
eutony
Evangelicalism
evechurr
eventual
everting
evil-fortuned
evil-sounding
Evnissyen
evolute
evolves
exanthine
excavates
excellent
excerpted
excoriate
excussed
exdividend
execrates
exergonic
exhibiter
exigencies
exintine
exister
exophasic
exoterica
expalpate
explains
explodes
exsculp
exserted
extendible
extra-condensed
extracted
extra-parochial
exzodiacal
eyeleteer
faculative
fairyism
faith-infringing
faithwise
falciparum
falseness
falsities
fanflower
fantasts
fantoddish
far-resounding
farriery
farrows
fasciculate
fascinery
fashion-fancying
fatalisms
fatalistic
fatherhood
fatherling
fattiest
Faustianism
fauvette
featherlet
featherlike
featherweed
feldspars
felinity
fellowred
feltness
fenestral
feoffeeship
ferments
fermillet
ferrament
ferrites
ferrums
ferryman
Ferryville
fervanite
festally
fewterer
fiddlerfish
fierasferid
fiery-sworded
filiciform
fillagreing
filtering
finitely
firebombing
firebricks
firmity
first-footer
fishnets
fishpool
fissioned
fissipedal
fivepins
five-sisters
flaccidities
flagellates
flaggingly
flangeless
flankwise
flatlings
flavanilin
fleawort
fleysome
flichters
flockiest
floodwall
floosies
Flossmoor
flower-sweet
fluidist
fluorine
fluoroid
flurry
fluxweed
flyboats
flyness
flywinch
focometer
foenngreek
foetalism
fogscoffer
follying
fondlings
foolship
footfolk
footpaces
footsy
forbearant
forebearing
foredoomed
forefoot
foreiron
forepast
foreshock
foresides
forespeech
forewarn
forgiver
formeret
forsaking
forsung
fortranh
forwoden
forwore
foujdary
fountain
Fouquier-Tinville
fourbagger
four-striped
foveolet
foziest
fractural
fraughts
free-associating
free-spokenly
freetrader
freewoman
freshest
freshets
friction-sawn
friendlier
Friendswood
frigorific
fringillid
frisson
frogeyes
frolicly
froughy
fruit-candying
fruit-drying
fuehrers
fugacities
fulgour
fulimart
fumaroidal
fumeless
fundless
furcular
furless
furnacemen
fursemide
furuncle
gablatores
galactagogue
gallberry
galleasses
gallicanism
galliwasp
gangliomata
garlandry
garnishes
gascoigny
gasconism
gasoliner
gasoscope
gasteralgia
gauntlet
gauntly
gawkhammer
gemsbucks
generating
genetmoil
gentianella
gentisate
gentrices
geographer
geomantical
geophagism
geotaxis
geraniols
gerenuks
germanely
gestening
ghostland
giftwrap
gilravager
gingerline
ginneries
girasols
giustina
gladatorial
gladfully
gladiolus
glairiest
glassfish
glassteel
glauberite
glimpses
glissando
glittered
glorifies
glossoid
glowfly
glucinum
glucosin
gluemaking
glutamate
glutelin
glycogenic
glycolate
gnatcatcher
gnathopod
gnostical
gobbledegook
gobernadora
gobletful
goblinism
godparent
goldbricks
goldurned
golliwog
goloshes
goniatite
gonothecal
gooneys
gorgonacean
gorgonian
goutweed
governs
grainsmen
graithly
gram-centimeter
grandaunt
granogabbro
Granttown
grapeskin
grappling
grass-roots
gravamens
graybeards
greatening
great-grandaunt
great-spirited
greenflies
grenadiers
griefless
grillers
grimiest
grindery
grivets
grizelin
groggily
grooty
groover
group-connect
grouper
grouts
grovelled
growly
gruelly
grumpy
grunzie
Gterdmerung
guaiasanol
guarantied
guayaberas
Guaycuruan
guildsman
gullery
gullibly
gunshop
gun-shyness
gusseted
guttered
guttier
Guysville
gymnogen
Gymnonoti
gypsies
gyrally
gyromele
hackbarrow
haematinon
Haematophilina
haemophiliac
hailproof
hainberry
hairgrass
halakists
half-intoxicated
halftones
halleflinta
hamesucken
hammerers
hammerfish
hammerkop
hammer-strong
handstone
Hanoverton
haranguing
hard-fistedness
harmonics
harrying
haruspice
hastifly
haustral
hawknosed
Haynesville
headclothes
headhunts
healthily
healthward
heartblood
heart-fretting
heart-stricken
heatedness
heat-oppressed
heelpost
hegemonies
Heiligenscheine
helianthin
heliophobia
hellbroth
helleborin
Hellertown
helmetlike
helotize
Helsingfors
hematites
hematogenic
hemiablepsia
hemicollin
hemidactyl
hemidomatic
hemiekton
hemiplegy
hemiterata
hemoglobin
hemology
hepatomata
hepteris
heraldship
herbarist
heritably
hermetics
herpetoid
heterocerc
hexarchies
hexaster
heydeguy
hifalutin
highways
hillfort
hinderers
hindwards
hinnying
Hinshelwood
hippuric
hiroshima
hirsute
Hispanophile
hitchhikes
hobbyist
hoboisms
hodoscope
hoggaster
hokiness
hollandaise
hollandite
hollantide
hollering
Holmesville
holocarpic
holograph
Holosiphona
homomeral
honduras
honeycomb
honoring
honoured
hoofbound
hookerman
hooligans
hooters
hoppercar
horation
horntip
horologia
horseherd
horsify
hospitage
hospital
hostaging
hotblooded
hotelize
hotness
housemen
houtou
Howenstein
howlers
huccatoon
huehuetl
humblest
hungrier
Hunkerous
hurdy-gurdy
huronian
hurrayed
husbandland
hussies
hutzpah
hyalescence
hydrates
hydrazide
Hydrocaryaceae
hydromel
hyingly
hylarchical
hyperemia
hypohemia
hypopnea
hypothec
hypoxic
hyraxes
hysons
hyssop-leaved
ichorrhoea
ichthyol
ideagenous
identifies
ideologies
ideologise
idiogenetic
idiotry
idolisms
idolistic
idyllion
ignifying
iguanodon
illuminee
illutate
illyrian
Ilysanthes
imbroglio
immature
immitigable
immusical
impaction
impaneling
impartance
imparter
impellor
impendent
imperent
imported
impotence
impresas
impressa
imprest
impugnable
inadequacy
inaneness
inanities
inapplicable
inbreather
incensive
inceptor
inchoating
incito-motor
incogitance
incongealable
increeping
incubating
indetectable
indicolite
indignancy
indirubin
indolences
inductees
indument
indurite
ineconomic
inefficient
inexist
infantive
infernos
inferring
infidelism
infixion
inflation
infought
infringer
infuneral
ingroup
ingrown
inkiness
innately
innovate
inoculate
inrooted
insecticide
inshoot
inshrined
insooth
inspinne
instars
instore
intellect
intelsat
interbreed
interfaces
interfere
intermat
interpale
interpeal
interplea
intertie
Intertype
intexine
intrados
intrapial
intrenched
introfied
inulases
inwound
inwraps
iodonium
iodophor
ioniums
Ionization
Ipoctonus
irideous
ironized
iron-sceptered
irony-proof
irritate
Ishmaelitish
isleless
isocephalic
isocheims
isochimes
isolates
isophasal
isthmics
iwberry
jackpudding
jaguarondi
jailhouse
japishly
jarveys
jatrophic
jawfishes
jazzlike
jessamies
Jesuitist
jewel-enshrined
jillions
jimberjawed
jimmying
Jonesport
jostles
Jourdanton
journaled
judiciary
Judophobism
jumblers
jumbucks
junkets
jurassic
justing
kailyards
keelsons
keeshonden
keeshonds
kehilloth
ketonimid
keurboom
keyboards
keyholes
Keystoner
kibitzer
kiddushes
kingcups
kingsize
Kingstown
kissers
knappers
knifeless
knockoffs
knothole
knotty-pated
knouts
knowledged
knulling
kohlrabies
koimesis
kolinski
kookery
kousso
krakowiak
kuvasz
kytoon
laborsome
laceflower
lachrymable
laciniform
lacquerer
ladderwise
lageniform
lagniappes
Lagorchestes
laliophobia
lamarckism
lambskins
laminating
lampstand
landholding
landscaping
languished
lapulapu
larcinry
largeness
large-thoughted
last-mentioned
laterigrade
latinized
laurel-crowned
lavature
lavenders
lavender-scented
lazuline
lazulis
lazybone
lazyish
leaderless
leaseholds
leashless
leaveless
leftness
legatorial
legumins
lemmitis
lemon-yellow
lennilite
lepidity
Leptocephalidae
Letchworth
leucocism
leucophane
Leucosticte
leveraging
Leverkusen
levigates
libellist
liberalism
liberator
libration
lievrite
liferoot
lifeways
ligaments
light-diffusing
lightest
lightning
likelihood
limbuses
liminess
limpidly
lingtow
litation
literato
Literberry
litotes
Lityerses
localness
lodicules
loftsman
logicity
loginess
logophobia
logrolled
Lombardesque
longeron
longship
longsome
Longworth
loopers
loose-fitting
Lophiomyidae
Lophiomys
Loreauville
loricarian
loud-bellowing
loviers
lowigite
lowlands
lowlifer
Loxosomidae
lubricant
luckiest
lugsails
lumpens
lunchers
luniest
lunkers
lupinine
luteins
Lutherist
lyricise
lyrico-dramatic
lyxose
macabreness
macartney
machismos
macrocosm
macrograph
macromazia
maenadically
magistral
magnetify
magnetize
mahzors
maieutics
mailboxes
maintains
makership
mallophagan
mamelukes
mammalogical
mammalogy
mandarinate
mandritta
mangonels
Manhattanize
mannoses
mantises
many-sidedness
many-wintered
Maquiritare
marauders
margarins
marginicidal
marinates
Mariolatry
marmatite
marshalcy
marshalman
martiloge
martinet
martingale
maskanonge
masochism
masseter
masticot
mastoids
matagory
matchless
matchmaking
matiness
matrons
mattedly
Matterhorn
mattulla
maximize
maximus
mealworm
meaningly
measurer
medianity
medicamental
medusalike
meetness
melanoderm
melanous
melon-yellow
melopiano
membranelle
membranula
meningioma
menoplania
menoxenia
mentery
mercantile
merciment
mercurial
merganser
meridional
merocrine
merrily
mesentera
mesitite
mesocranic
mesohepar
mesomeric
mesosoma
metaborate
Metageitnion
metallised
metamery
metanomen
Metaphysical
metaplasm
metatheria
metergram
methanolic
metregram
metrized
Mezentius
mezuzah
Michelozzo
micro-audiphone
microbrachia
microbus
micromelic
microseme
microzoa
midparent
midpoint
miffiness
milkless
millimole
Milnesville
milwaukee
mimickers
mineraloid
minious
minitant
minuses
minuter
miracidium
miracle-worker
mirrored
misatoned
misbiassed
misbinding
mischief-loving
miscipher
miscopy
miscredit
misdirect
miseducate
misguggle
Mishnayoth
mislearned
mismanager
mismoved
misogallic
misparse
missus
Mistassini
mistcoat
mistful
miswired
miswish
mitoses
mittens
Mnemiopsis
mniaceous
mobproof
moderates
modiation
modulant
modumite
molecular
mollient
mollifies
monetise
money-loving
moneyman
mongolian
monilioid
monocline
monogerm
monokini
monomark
Monothelete
montaging
montanin
montero
moodiest
moosebird
moperies
moralism
morceaux
morfrey
morocota
morphemic
morpion
moshavim
motors
moulten
moults
mourns
mousier
moussaka
mouther
mowings
mowstead
mozetta
much-containing
much-engrossed
muckment
mucusin
mufflers
muktatma
mullers
multiped
multiple-choice
multiple-disk
multum
mummify
munnion
muraenoid
murkly
murrey
muscicole
muscle-building
mushru
music-flowing
music-tongued
muskish
musths
mutagens
mutedly
mutillid
muyusa
myatonic
Mycetophagidae
mynpacht
myosis
myrabolam
Myrmecobiinae
mythos
naloxone
nanocurie
napellus
Napoleonize
nappiest
narrow-rimmed
nastily
natuary
nauticals
nayword
near-following
necrophil
needlemaking
negligences
negotiated
neoblastic
neoclassic
Neomylodon
neonomian
neossine
neotype
nervism
Nesslerize
nesters
nestling
netheist
neurergic
neurofil
neuronal
never-sleeping
never-winking
newsful
newstand
new-written
nextly
nidulus
niellist
niggardize
niggertoe
nighters
nightfish
nihilist
nimious
ninepins
nitrolic
nivellate
nodality
nonaccepted
nonactor
nonamendable
nonanarchic
nonaphasic
nonblockaded
nonblooded
nonbreakable
nonbreeder
noncasual
noncausal
nonchokable
nonciteable
noncredence
nondairy
nondeist
nonfebrile
nonhuman
nonmajor
nonplacet
nonpliable
nonsabbatic
nonsaleable
nonserif
nonspecie
nonteachable
Noordholland
norites
nosebleeds
nosohaemia
nostalgic
no-surrender
notating
notchboard
notional
noveldom
novellas
nucleates
nugacity
nullism
numeracy
nutates
nutty
Nycticorax
oarfishes
obligatos
obligatum
obliques
oblong-elliptic
obouracy
obscenely
obsidional
obtests
obtuser
occultate
oceanarium
octachordal
octaeterid
octameter
octodecimal
odontalgic
Odontaspis
oecumenian
oestrin
offhandedly
offishly
ogrisms
oilheating
oiltight
oily-smooth
okruzi
old-maidishness
oligochaete
omittance
omitter
omniarchs
omophagy
one-upmanship
onomancy
onymatic
oogametes
opaquing
operagoer
operatical
operetta
Ophiobolus
ophiurid
Opiconsivia
opticly
Opuntiales
orality
orange-striped
orange-throated
orbitelar
orchestic
ordures
orients
ornament
Ornytus
orphancy
Orthonectida
orthose
ortygan
oscillated
osculated
osseins
ossifier
osteitic
osteogen
ostracode
otorrhea
outbaking
outbragged
outcept
outcook
outcut
outfawn
outflank
outflue
outgambled
outhired
outkill
outlier
outlined
outoffice
outpaces
outpeer
outrank
outrate
outray
outreached
outscape
outset
outshake
outslid
outsped
outtalk
outtear
ovate-lanceolate
ovately
overably
overblanch
overboard
overbore
overbow
overbroad
overcapable
overchased
overcup
overdazed
overdried
overfilm
overflog
overgamble
overimbibe
overlash
overlave
overleer
overline
overmind
overneat
overrim
overtoe
overwake
overweak
ovulated
owelty
oxammite
oxcarts
oxtails
oxyacids
oxydasic
oxygon
padcluoth
paedological
paedology
paillette
paintably
pairwise
pakistani
Palaeichthyes
palaeograph
palaeophile
palagonite
palatally
palpitate
palpless
palships
paludrine
panderers
pandurate
panhandling
Pan-presbyterian
pansmith
pantoum
papality
papists
papyrian
parablepsia
parachaplain
parachutic
paracmasis
paradeless
parageusic
paralleler
paramecium
paranuclei
parentate
parleyer
parousia
parricidial
Parrington
passion-shaken
pasteur
pastiches
pasture
patellula
pathless
patinize
pauraque
paviors
pavisor
paxillate
peace-procuring
Pectinibranchia
peculium
pedagogues
pedantize
pederastic
pediadontic
pediculated
pediculicide
pedicures
peirastic
pelargonic
pelleting
penalises
penchants
penduline
penlites
penorcon
Pentamerus
peoplish
perborate
percents
performed
periauger
peridermic
perijove
perilune
peripherad
perisome
permits
peroxided
perscent
Persichetti
personage
personal
perturb
pesthole
pestify
pettiagua
petunse
Phacochoerus
phagocyte
phalangitic
phalanxes
phantasmag
pharisees
phenacetine
phenetole
phenixes
phenocoll
phenolated
phenoxide
Philoctetes
Phippsburg
phlebitis
phlogisma
Phoradendron
phosphide
photechy
photism
photoeng
photogen
photogs
photonic
photopia
phulwara
Phycomyces
Phylactolaema
physicked
pianisms
pianistic
piblokto
picarooned
pictural
pigeonite
piggybacks
pigroot
pilaster
pililloo
pilloried
pilotman
pinecones
piniform
pintails
piperidin
pipkinet
piquiere
pishogue
pistaches
pistachio
pistoled
Pitchometer
pitiedly
pitless
pitmaking
Pittsburg
pituite
pitying
pixilated
placentoma
placodermal
placodont
plagioclase
plaister
plaiters
plantlet
plantlike
plasmagenic
plastered
plastids
plateaux
platinoid
Platycercinae
Platyrhini
playgirl
playoffs
playward
plebianism
plebiscite
plenties
plenums
Pleuroceridae
pleuroid
pliskies
plosion
plough-monday
plouky
plumbagine
plumcot
plumdamas
plummet
plummy
plumule
plunging
pluries
plushes
plussage
pneograph
pocketing
podsols
podzolic
poetito
poetized
poitrail
pokomoo
pollenate
pollux
polyamide
Polyborinae
polygalic
Polyporaceae
pondokkie
ponying
pooftahs
poorish
poplitic
popply
Poquoson
poriferal
portland
poseuse
postdate
postfact
posting
postpaid
potbellied
potentee
pothook
potoos
potpies
pouchlike
pounding
pouring
powders
Powellton
practicing
pratty
preachings
preacness
preadapts
preatomic
prebenefit
precambrian
precents
prechordal
precising
preclaimer
precombine
preconfer
predative
predawns
predeceases
predicates
preeligible
pre-emptory
pre-enclosure
preeners
preentail
prefeudalic
preformed
prelithic
preludes
preludio
premorbid
prenaris
prenomen
preobtain
preofficial
preordain
prepacking
prepaste
prepays
prerefined
prereject
prerelate
presley
presser
press-point
presteel
pretapes
pretonic
pretty-behaved
prevalue
prevent
priapus
priestal
priggess
primary
primeur
primitiae
princeps
princify
printer
prionine
Prionopinae
prismy
prisoned
prittle
privant
probings
problems
procaines
proclive
Procopius
procured
prodroma
producer
profaning
profiles
profundae
profuse
progamete
progeny
proleague
promise-bound
promisee
pronging
prononce
proofing
propjet
proreader
prorebate
prorecall
proscenia
prosier
prosodal
prosodiac
prothmia
Pro-tripolitan
proud-pillared
Provolone
proximad
proxime
Psaronius
pseudaphia
Pseudo-austrian
pseudo-Austrian
pseudo-catholic
Pseudo-elizabethan
pseudo-Elizabethan
psoralen
psychon
pteridoid
ptomainic
Ptychoparia
publicly
pucksey
puddingy
pueblito
puerpera
pugilant
puke-stocking
pulicose
pullalue
pumpkin
punaluan
punctate
pungling
Pungoteague
pupilate
pureayn
purple-fringed
pursue
purty
pussy
putchuk
putois
putter
Putumayo
pyralidan
pyralis
pyraloid
pyrexic
pyridine
pyritic
pyrogen
quadplex
quadrangle
quaint-worded
qualmish
quarry
quarter
quarter-wave
quartin
quasi-adjusted
quasi-amusing
quasi-basically
quasi-foolish
quasi-informed
quasi-maternal
quasi-medically
quasi-miserable
quasi-politic
quasi-qualified
quasi-reformed
quasi-reliably
quasi-uplift
quasi-venerable
quassin
quatrin
quebrith
quemeful
querent
quesited
quick-freezing
quicklime
quietened
quillais
quillon
quinnet
quintar
quints
quinyie
quippu
quittal
quomodo
Rabelaisianism
racemisms
rachitism
rackettail
rackingly
rackwork
radarscope
radiocarbon
radiolitic
radioteria
raillery
rainbow-painted
raincoats
ramellose
rammermen
randannite
rangeless
rankwise
ransomable
rasters
rastling
ratatats
ratchety
ratheripe
rattails
raughty
ravelers
ravelins
ravelling
ravisher
reaccelerated
reaccount
reaccusing
reappliance
reapplier
rearguing
rearising
reattaches
reattired
rebozos
receptor
recidivated
reciprocal
recommendee
recompete
recompiled
reconclude
recreating
rectrices
redamation
redeclining
redeploy
redesigns
redespise
redolences
redoubler
redounds
redrives
redrying
reduzate
reeffishes
reenclosed
re-enrollment
reevokes
reexhibit
referring
refinancing
refinery
reflation
reflexing
refought
refugium
refuting
regalement
regalness
regimented
regionals
regorging
regraduate
regressed
regroup
regrown
rehammers
reimpart
reimpose
reinjure
reinvoice
reissued
relacquer
relatival
releasably
remeditate
remedying
remigrated
renegating
renests
renovate
reophore
repaginated
repower
repress
reprint
reprobate
repugns
repulsed
reputable
reradiates
reschedule
rescous
researcher
resecting
resents
reserval
resewing
reshipped
reshoeing
reshoot
reshuffle
residencer
residues
resimmer
resinfiable
resizer
resolved
respicing
responded
restaging
restocked
restore
restow
resumes
resurfaced
retaught
retemper
retinite
retinker
retinula
retiring
retotaled
retreatal
retrenched
retroact
retrocecal
revacating
reversal
revibrate
revives
rewearing
rewetted
rewound
rewraps
rhabdosome
Rhadamanthys
rhagadiform
Rhinanthus
Rhizopus
rhyme-forming
Rhynchobdellae
Rhytidodon
rhyton
ricochets
ridicule-proof
ridicules
rigescent
right-wingish
rimeless
rindless
ringnecks
riptides
rituals
riverbank
riverine
riverman
roadblocks
roadster
rocketeer
rockiest
rodentian
rondelier
Ronsdorfer
roofward
rookeried
roomful
roommate
rootages
rootier
rooving
rosery
rosillo
rosiny
Rossellini
roubouh
rough-turned
rouping
Rowletts
Roystonea
rubber-yielding
ruction
ruddiest
rufous
rufous-hooded
rufous-tailed
rulings
rumpadder
runkles
runneth
Runstadler
runtime
russet-green
rusty-coated
rutelian
saccharifier
saddleless
saffron-colored
sagebrush
sagginess
saintlike
saintly
salacious
salampore
salariats
saltery
saltmaker
salvifics
samshus
Sangallensis
sanitised
santirs
santols
sanukite
sapiencies
sapogenin
sarcolemma
sarcophagic
sassagum
sateless
satiating
satinlike
satirise
satrapical
satrapy
saucepot
Sauromatian
savory
scabiophobia
scannings
scapiform
scapolite
scarfskin
scawtite
scenarize
scentful
schediastic
schematics
schiavoni
schnapper
scholarian
scholium
schoolmaam
schoolman
schorly
Schuylkill
sciaticky
scincoidian
scintler
scivvy
scleranth
sclerosed
scobiform
scoreboard
scorepads
scotchmen
scotopic
Scoto-scandinavian
scrapbook
scratchman
screwier
scrieves
scriggly
scripto
scrublike
scrummage
sculpted
scumbling
scuppet
scurril
scuttle
seafowls
seamster
searness
seashells
seatless
second-growth
secours
secreting
secret-service
secundum
seemlily
seignorage
seignoral
selective
selenates
Selenipedium
self-acquaintance
self-acquainter
self-activity
self-catalysis
self-chastising
self-communing
self-desertion
self-detraction
self-developing
self-discrepant
self-dissecting
self-dissolved
self-employer
self-emptying
self-enrichment
self-exposing
self-induction
self-intruder
self-positing
self-purity
self-reduction
self-refinement
self-repressed
self-variation
self-witness
self-written
semaphore
sementera
semibarbaric
semichemical
semicircled
semiclose
semicrome
semicurl
semideltaic
semihoral
semimatt
seminifical
semipupa
semishaft
semitone
senilism
sennits
sensoria
septicemia
septleva
Septuagint
serfship
serioso
serjeancy
sertion
sertule
services
servo-pilot
sescuple
session
setdown
setout
settles
setups
setwise
seven-mouthed
Severinus
sewering
sextole
shadberry
shadowing
shaggymane
shakedown
shakeout
shakeups
shaktism
shamoys
shanksman
Shanksville
sharpens
shattered
shawllike
sheeneys
sheepwalk
shellshake
shelterage
sheraton
sheroot
shibboleth
shieldfern
shikkers
Shinnston
shipbuild
shipcraft
shiplaps
shipplane
shipyard
shivers
shlimazl
shochetim
shoofly
shooter
shopboy
shortcake
short-sloped
short-spired
shovels
shredders
shrewder
shrieking
shrives
sicklily
sickly-colored
sickly-seeming
sickly-sweet
sienites
sightly
sigillarid
significian
signiori
silicifies
silicons
sillery
simple-rooted
simulate
sinapism
sin-chastising
sincipita
sinewing
single-stepped
siphons
Siqueiros
siskins
sissone
six-cylindered
six-spotted
sixtine
skatings
skewers
skiddiest
skimpier
skirret
skirter
skittled
sklents
skully
skyugle
slammers
slangrell
slate-cutting
slaverer
sleepry
sleepyhead
slenderer
slight-esteemed
slight-timbered
slighty
slithered
slot-drilling
Slovensko
slow-speaking
slumps
slyest
smackeroo
small-pattern
smart-spoken
smashboard
smellful
smile-covering
smirching
smirking
smitten
smoke-begotten
smokelike
smokers
smoorich
smooth-riding
snarlish
sneerful
sneeshing
sniffily
snipelike
snipers
snivels
snobbery
snorker
snow-melting
snubbers
snuffkin
sobersided
socialism
sociogram
socrates
sodiums
sodomite
softboard
solidism
solunar
somites
sompner
sonship
soonly
soot-bespeckled
soother
sorehawk
sorter-out
sotols
soughing
soul-searching
soundheaded
soupfin
soupon
sourball
sources
sourdre
soybeans
spacewalked
spanceling
spanner-tight
sparily
sparkler
spavins
speakablies
specificated
speckledy
speltoid
spenders
sperling
sphecius
sphendone
sphenion
spherula
sphygmic
spiciest
spiflicate
spikehole
spillages
spinelet
spinelike
spiracula
spirifer
spirited
spirit-pure
spitish
splashy
splining
spoliaria
spondaics
spooler
spoon-fashion
sporangia
spotted-finned
spouted
springald
spring-gathered
springle
sprucer
sprugs
spunks
spurdog
spyhole
square-figured
squares
square-tipped
squaws
squibbing
squinched
squint
stabilised
stagecraft
staggerer
stagiary
stagiest
stagskin
stalemated
stalklet
stalklike
staminode
standards
standers
stanzas
star-aspiring
starers
starfish
starling
star-thistle
statize
status
staynil
steadiers
steamers
stearyl
steckling
Stefansson
stemming
steppes
steptoe
stereome
Sternlight
stiacciato
Stiborius
stickboat
stillman
still-refuted
stinkball
stipels
stirring-up
stockier
stockmen
stomach-weary
stomatic
stone-bruised
Stonefort
stonehand
stone-walling
stonier
stooges
stools
stoping
stoves
stower
straddleback
straight-fibered
straight-leaved
straight-minded
strains
strait-chested
strangled
Stratonical
strawen
straws
streetage
stress
striatal
striding
striker
strobile
strolld
strong-voiced
stroth
struv
stubbles
stuccos
stupes
sturdied
Sturnus
styles
Stylidium
Styrofoam
suave-looking
subadjacent
subadult
subalgebraic
subcosta
subcranial
subdeliria
subducing
subduple
subgallate
subhooked
subjectable
subjugable
sublethal
sublimes
subloral
subnets
subpool
subradiate
subrepand
subscience
subsellia
subsmile
subsume
subucula
subwayed
succour
sucrose
sufficience
suffocated
suffragial
sugarloaf
sugar-yielding
sulfamine
sulfonal
sumbulic
sumerian
summer-tilled
summula
sunbeamy
sunders
sunfast
sunnier
sunward
superceded
superfan
supracaecal
surcharge
sure-grounded
surely
surmit
Sutherlandia
suttas
Suvorov
suzanne
swampine
swamp-loving
swankier
swanmark
swashing
swattle
sweatier
sweepdom
sweepier
sweetened
sweetman
sweet-singing
sweet-william
sweptback
swifter
swift-lamented
swift-sliding
swimmer
swinebread
swingman
swipple
swirls
Swissess
swollen
swythe
syagush
sycoceric
sycones
syllabaria
sylviid
synacmy
synapte
syndicate
synergic
syntagma
syphered
syrens
tabernacles
tablature
taborets
tabourer
tabourin
tabulary
tagliarini
tailcoats
tailgating
tailory
tailspin
tallying
talocalcaneal
talpetate
tamehearted
tangents
Tantaluses
tanzanian
tariffize
tastably
tattooed
taurus
tautens
tavernas
taxeopod
taxless
taxying
Taylorism
teagardeny
teardown
tectricial
teethers
telegrams
telephone
telescope
tellinoid
telluric
teloptic
temperance
temperer
templum
temporal
tendril-climbing
tensely
tenurial
tepoys
teroxide
terranes
terror-crazed
tersion
Tertullian
tessaradecad
test-tubeful
tetanize
tetanus
tetrachical
tetragon
tetrahedra
tetramer
tetramin
tetryl
Teutonised
Teutophobia
tewsome
thalidomide
thaneship
thegither
theists
Thelodontidae
theomagics
theorum
therapsid
therebeside
therefore
thermels
thickening
thievish
thimble-crowned
thinghood
thiobacilli
thiolactic
thiophene
thioxene
thirdendeal
thirty
Thornwood
thorny
thorny-thin
thorough-pin
thought-heeding
thousand-year
thrawing
threatened
thrifts
thriver
throat-clearing
thumbnail
Thymbraeus
tidemarks
tiderips
tigerism
tightish
tilesherd
timber-floating
timbrelled
time-discolored
tinkerer
tinsel-covered
tinselled
tipburn
tipless
tiredest
tiremaker
tiresias
tironian
Titmarshian
toasty
tobaccoism
tobaccosim
toboggans
toddymen
toffyman
toilets
toitish
tolerated
toluids
toluole
tonguer
toomly
Toomsboro
tooting
tornado-breeding
tornesi
toroids
torqued
torrefied
torsalo
torteau
tosily
totty
totuava
Tourneur
tousy
towards
tow-coloured
towers
town-loving
townman
Townville
towser
toxicaemia
toxicon
toxotae
Toyotomi
trachyte
traction
trademarked
trailboard
tramells
trammelhead
trampcock
trampdom
tramyard
tranceful
transbay
Trans-cordilleran
trans-Cordilleran
transect
transom
Transvaalian
travelog
travel-tainted
trecento
treeship
trembling
trepangs
triadist
tricarbon
trickful
trierarch
triones
triplet
triply
trisula
tritor
trizoic
trochlear
troller
Trollopian
tropics
troppo
troths
trotol
trounced
trudging
truism
truss-hoop
Truxton
tsarevna
tsktsk
tsoris
tsunamic
tubeform
tubules
tularemia
tummies
tumoral
tuneably
Tunkhannock
tunnel-boring
tunnland
tuppence
Tupperish
Turbinellidae
turbo-electric
turgite
turkey
Turkeydom
Turkomans
turnip-shaped
turnoff
turtled
tussled
tut-tutted
twangler
tweenies
tweesht
Twelfthtide
twice-announced
twice-asserted
twice-assessed
twice-brought
twice-corrected
twice-pretended
twisted
twitchel
two-handedness
twoling
two-platoon
tyburn
typefaces
tyramin
Tyrannus
Tyrrhenian
ugly-tempered
uitspan
umbratical
umpirer
unaborted
unabsurd
unabundance
unadmirable
unadopted
unakites
unalerted
unaltered
unamerceable
unangry
unappended
unattacked
unavailable
unbalconied
unbarreled
unbarricaded
unbedraggled
unbeguiled
unbeholden
unbeloved
unbendably
unbenight
unboring
unbounded
unboxes
unbragging
unbreast
unbreeches
unbridgeable
unbroiled
unbroken
unbullied
uncenter
uncentre
unchaining
unchiseled
uncialize
unclever
unclipped
unclubby
uncoaxial
uncombined
uncrest
uncrisp
unculted
uncupped
undamnified
undeducible
undeferred
undelight
underbalance
underbodice
underboil
underchime
underclub
underdone
underfiend
underfire
undergird
underkind
underlay
underseam
undertide
undertied
undowned
undraws
undress
unduloid
unelectable
unenchant
unequaled
unevocable
unfasten
unfauceted
unferried
unfevered
unfiducial
unfinish
unfoaming
unfogging
unfooted
unformal
unfreeze
unfriended
unfrugal
unfuelled
unfundable
ungambling
ungloved
unhaggling
unhorse
unhumbled
unhushed
uniflow
unimbibing
unindexed
unironed
unitive
unjapanned
unkempt
unkindred
unlaving
unleveled
unlighted
unlinks
unloathed
unloyal
unmackly
unmaligned
unmanlike
unmanly
unmanner
unmantle
unmatchable
unmental
unmetred
unminted
unmiracled
unmiry
unmiter
unmitre
unmodified
unmould
unmown
unpalpable
unpapered
unpasted
unpegging
unpitched
unplashed
unprimed
unprince
unprop
Un-protestant
unramified
unrandom
unrankled
unreceding
unrecent
unrelated
unrisen
unrobing
unrowed
unsaccharic
unsayable
unscaling
unself-centered
unseven
unshamefaced
unshelled
unshocked
unshore
unsicker
unsmeared
unsnatch
unsolar
unstanch
unstate
unsteep
unsunk
untacking
untaste
untaxable
untermed
unthewed
unthreaded
untidier
untipt
untoiled
unturf
unugly
unuseable
unvalued
unvendable
unwaking
unwarbled
unwarned
unwearied
unwhite
unwilled
unwove
upbuoy
upcover
upcrowd
upcurled
uperize
upgrow
uppluck
upsets
upspew
upspread
upstare
uptears
urbanest
urbanized
urceolate
Urdummheit
ureteral
urn-enclosing
urobilin
urohyal
urologic
urticaria
useless
utensil
uucpnet
uxorial
vaccinist
vacuolate
vacuums
valbellite
vallums
vamosing
vampyre
variety
varnished
vasovagal
vedettes
vegetism
vehemency
velatura
veliform
velocipeded
veloute
venation
venditate
venially
ventifact
ventose
verbalize
verbenone
verbomania
verdancies
verdicts
vergery
Vermicularia
verriere
vetchling
veuglaire
vibists
vice-admirality
victrola
vietminh
vilipended
villancico
villanella
vinagron
vincular
vinous
violins
virgater
virtue-wise
visammin
visionic
vitameric
vitaminic
vitasti
vitrailed
vitrics
vivency
vivifier
volleyed
volvell
vortical
vouchsafe
voyaging
vulgars
Wagontown
Wainwright
walycoat
wamefuls
Wampsville
wanrest
wanters
warm-sheltered
warpers
warragals
washdays
washings
washway
wastemen
wasterie
wastern
watchdogs
water-breathing
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Zsigmondy

Proportional Governance

Another week, another tired old cliché.

This one is from Jonathan Haynes, the Guardian’s web news editor. Jonathan apparently saw some cyclists ride through a red light where children were crossing as you can see. This is wrong, clearly. The road laws are in place for good reason, to keep people safe. The law about stopping on red is for everyone and in this case it certainly sounds like the cyclists in question were idiots and should be brought to task. Of course, riding bike doesn’t suddenly make someone a saint and unfortunately you do find idiots using all modes of transports. As one Twitter commenter stated, ‘Idiocy transcends transport mode’. In one perverse respect, I quite like people like Jonathan who gleefully highlight cyclist transgressions as it’s clear at some level in his mind, cyclists do have the moral high ground. I’m also quite amused that Jonathan has felt it necessary to spend his morning blocking pretty much anyone who highlights the flaws in his arguments including me. Ho hum, I suspect I’ve not lost visibility to any particularly mind-stretching perspectives there, fill your boots.

As I say, his first tweet shown highlights dangerous behaviour *at first* which I’m sure all sensible, thoughtful people would find fairly abhorrent. Jumping rights is illegal (at the moment) and doing it when there are children at risk is particularly irresponsible. Interestingly Jonathan then goes on to entirely miss the point of all the complaints from cyclists he received by posting this.

I say ‘interestingly’ but it’s not really, it’s tiresome that he’s completely ignored the fact that no one complained about suggesting cyclists should follow the law but that they “should be banned from cycling, should have to have licenses and number plates and if they break the law should face court, be fined and have bikes destroyed”. I’ve put it in quotes just to confirm that he actually did say all that, you can see it right there.

Talk about full on.

Remember, Jonathan isn’t talking about people running about firing automatic weapons about the place or about people driving many tons of machinery into crowds of people, (because don’t forget, those people very rarely face any punishment) . No, his beef is with people who’s average speed is 15km/h and whose weight with bike is almost certainly a lot less than Harry Clarke’s (the driver of the Glasgow bin lorry referenced in the previous link), in short, a very benign group of road users. Jonathan, like many ill-informed people, thinks cyclists should face the same governance and regulations that drivers do. And this is my beef.

Appropriate governance is what makes us civilised. We don’t use armed police to stop someone stealing food from a shop, we don’t mobilise teams of pursuit cars to bring down parking ticket offenders and we don’t license cyclists. It’s a hugely disproportionate response to suggest otherwise.

Does Jonathan truly believe that if cyclists were harmful enough to warrant insurance, the insurance companies wouldn’t have long since pushed for legislation to make it mandatory? Instead of giving it away free like they do now? It’s a very naive perspective to consider insurance companies not wanting to make money out of a large group of people.

Does Jonathan honestly believe that number plates are the answer to the issues he perceives? Lets be clear, this is a mind-crushingly boring subject brought up time and time again by councils in an attempt to solve some strange problem that they’re never fully open about. It repeatedly fails again and again, usually because the scheme loses huge amounts of money and doesn’t provide any benefit whatsoever.

Does Jonathan believe that crushing bikes is actually proportionate. Note that the police can only seize and ultimately crush cars in the UK under two circumstances. No insurance and repeated anti-social driving. Both crimes are responsible for many deaths (approx 160 a year from uninsured drivers) and a huge amount of serious injury and this measure has only been in place a few years. Cars can only be crushed if the perpetrators do not pay the fines imposed upon them.

Of course it’s completely over the top to suggest these measures for cyclists because cyclists are largely harmless. Yes there are instances (anecdotal chatter about mindless cyclists charging down a pavement don’t count) where there is a perception of dangerous behaviour but the statistics simply don’t bear this out. I’ve dug out this handy set of stats that coincidentally, the Guardian online has put together. It’s (well this is a bit embarrassing, Jonathan), not very well formatted but it looks like pedestrians killed by cyclists across 2009-2010 is 3. Obviously every death is a tragedy but the results are very clearly in favour of forgetting wasting time with talking about placing governance on cyclists and focussing a bit more on the groups that are ALREADY GOVERNED to the degree that Jonathan demands because in actually fact, they’re the groups that are going round slaughtering pedestrians in their thousands.

Yes, yes, ‘slaughtering’ is quite an emotional word but it really does get on my wick a bit when nonsense (another emotive word) like this is brought up. Appropriate governance is important because a lorry weighing 20 tons can create a massive amount of heartbreak and tragedy in a couple of seconds even when driven very slowly when vulnerable people around. A car weighing considerably less can (and does daily), create moderately less harm but it still only takes the time it takes to look at that text to irrecoverably ruin many peoples lives instantly.

This is why lorry drivers must be constantly governed, tested and checked appropriately.

This is why car drivers must be constantly governed, tested and checked appropriately.

And that single digit figure, while appallingly desperate to look at, is why the focus does not need to be on cyclists.